Lighten Up Francis, It’s Just Lingerie!

Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie?

I had issues with our signage at the old store due to the fact that the women were in bras. Mind you, they were also more covered than most people on a beach or in the local climbing gym, for that matter.

Facebook recently started rejecting our ads due to suggestive content/nudity. Again, more coverage than a bikini and the content suggested that perhaps she’d like to receive a gift from her guy. Oh my, how scandalous!

The T*Bar when it lived in downtown Boulder

So it begs the question, what the hell? Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie? Is it because it suggests so much more? Sex? Sexiness? Confidence? Lust? So what if it does? We are humans and we have sex. It’s kind of how we’re built. It’s how we all got here, by the way. I personally, would prefer to embrace the attitude, and create a culture that supports it, that this is one of the bonuses of being wired with emotion, as humans-we can have fun here-as opposed to the viewing our sexuality as a means to an end.

Perhaps it’s time to take a cue from our pals across the pond. The Euros have a great sense of humor around this whole topic, from the designs of the product itself, to the cheeky humor that surrounds the marketing and distribution of the same. That’s one of the reasons many of our vendors are from abroad. Kriss Soonik and Marlies Dekkers are two of our favorites. How’s the Marlies Dekkers Gloria Pin Stripe for a power suit?

At The T*Bar, we work really hard to make the experience fun, as it should be. So, in an effort to help break down these taboo’s and spread The TQween’s gospel, that we should be able to talk about such things and lighten up, we are going to share some of the reasons I believe lingerie matters (aside from my obvious obsession), and over the coming weeks will ask some of you to let us know why lingerie matters to you, as well.

Recently, I was visiting with a man I had a relationship with and still am very close to. While we are not together, I will hold a very unique place in my heart for this person for my lifetime. There’s a myriad of reasons why, but one reason in particular of an intimate nature, is how he made me feel when it came to my lingerie. Seen-not invisible. He always knew, and still does, if I was wearing something new or he’d not seen before.

While he never gave me lingerie (nobody ever has-*sniffle), he appreciated that I treated it as gift wrap and a playful part of who I am, whether we were going to a football game with my Gator orange underthings for good luck, or an incredible dinner at a favorite restaurant in his hometown, with a fun surprise for “dessert”. The fact that he noticed, took time to say so, and even weighed in on favorites, made me feel absolutely seen, not invisible. That is some powerful shit.

XOXO

Debby aka The TQween

#lingeriematters

NEW YORK IS MY BOYFRIEND, BUT PARIS IS MY LOVER!

“It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it.” — Voltaire.

Nothing is as sexy, romantic and indicative of ooh la la (ok, and just HOT), as is Paris. So it stands to reason, the most amazing lingerie show in the world, would be held there. That’s right. Lingerie show. Fashion shows, like fashion week in New York, and all of the world’s lingerie industry, converging in one place, to see the newest, the finest, the most avant-garde and the legendary. The Salon International de la Lingerie, the largest and most significant lingerie trade show in the world.

Lingerie inspires. Lingerie influences how we feel. Lingerie is art.

Paris. This is where I go for inspiration for myself,  and to find the things that you don’t see everywhere in the United States, for you. And so, tomorrow, off to Paris I go. For me. For you!

Check back for updates and don’t forget you can click on the images for close ups and to see .gifs (to come), in action…

Remembering

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot this week. It started when I came home and my house smelled of the Passover smells that I remembered from her apartment building when I was a child. I had been cooking the food for our Sedar and went out to run an errand. When I returned home, I got out of my car in the garage and was overpowered by the smells and flood of memories. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I kept wondering what she might say to me if she were still alive. I have had a lot of questions for her lately. So many choices and challenges, and no Nana to talk to. When she died, I was not long out of college and hadn’t really embarked on the road that brought me here, nor had I faced more than one or two real challenges at that point in my life. My Nana was something. She was very intelligent. She never went to a University, but she read incessantly and loved her crosswords. She was very opinionated, yet diplomatic. She could cook wonderfully, and she was a stunner. I remember she had silver white hair. She looked like she was made for that hair color, though, obviously wasn’t born that way. She was glamorous, from my point of view. She also loved my Pop Pop until the day she died, ten years after he had passed away. She lit up when talking about him. I distinctly remember staying with them overnight, and my brother and I laughing, because my Pop Pop would chase her around the apartment grabbing her and making her giggle. After all those years, they were giddy like teenagers, when they’d flirt. Of course, as a child, you think, “oh god, here they go again! It’s so embarrassing.” I look back, and have for years, with the most amazing fondness of that memory and many more. My favorite one, was how they’d tease each other and we’d all tease them, “that it would never last”, speaking of their marriage, always knowing how incredibly in love they actually were. I think they had an incredibly healthy view of sex and were not ashamed that we knew they still “did it” 🙂

I know that she was the female influence in my life for many things. Even things I am sure my parents probably think they somehow were responsible for, I feel she may have really been the influence behind. My being Bat Mitzvahed, the first girl in our family to do so, going to college, following my passions rather than being boxed into some predetermined role, our shared love of art and the desire to see the entire world. All of these things were our private conversations. She was someone who made me contemplate things, and made it clear that women should have their own opinion and be able to back it up. She assured me that I was filled with gifts and talents far beyond anything I could see then. I believed her and know that when things have been tough in the past, it was those conversations that gave me the strength to keep trying. When I was in college and my parents split up, my mom went AWOL, so to speak, disappearing from my life for about three months. I am not sure where or why, but Nana was on the phone encouraging me to stay focused on school and my life, not my parents’.

I wrote a quick note to my Dad yesterday. I told him of my smell induced memories and that I thought she’d be proud of the Sedar I made. I told him of how I hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her, especially yesterday (March 31). He replied that she was always proud of everything about me, and that it happened to be the anniversary of her death yesterday, and maybe that was why I felt her, especially then. I had no idea it was that date. Nineteen years have passed since she died. Almost as much time has gone since she died, as I had with her in my life. I laugh sometimes to myself wondering what she’d think of my store, and I know with utter certainty, she’d grin, ear to ear loving it and me.

Looking Forward to 2010 and Beyond!

Dear T-Bar friends, fans, followers, and loyal customers

2010 is bringing exciting changes for The T-Bar. We are moving forward with a combined store and an online strategy!
In order to achieve a successful combined vision, we will temporarily suspend normal retail hours. During this transition, we will gladly open by appointment for a private shopping experience.

Stay tuned for an even more exciting T-Bar in the near future.

To schedule an appointment please contact us at 303-444-5453 or info@thetbar.com
Follow us on twitter @TheTBar or our facebook fan page “The T*Bar Boulder”

Thank you for your continued support!
The T-Bar Boulder