VALENTINE’S DAY: THE GATEWAY HOLIDAY FOR LINGERIE GIVING

•February 6, 2015 • Leave a Comment

“Our bodies are our homes, so decorate them as you wish!”-unknown

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Angelina Jolie – Helmut Newton

Do it for her!
I can sadly say (*sniffle), that no man has ever given me lingerie. Me?! Le sigh. :(  Yes, yes, I know, likely fear given it’s my profession and my extensive collection and passion for the stuff, according to my “circle of brothers”, but really, never?! Hmpf! I would have appreciated just knowing he was picking something he wished to see me in…and out of.

Don’t be that guy. We’ll help you be that “other” guy…you know, the one that thrills her – with confidence and good taste and strong sexuality.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect gateway holiday to begin the journey of lingerie gift giving. It takes some of the pressure off because, well, first she’s hoping you are going to do something for her on VD, so it’s not out of the blue so to speak (although that’s really exciting, when there is no actual reason). Second, it’s the perfect time to spice things up anyway, since the whole thing about Valentine’s Day is making the effort, to make space for love, romance, and yes-sex! It’s all part of our love lives as humans, so lighten up and enjoy the ride (ahem).

That’s why we’re here. So you get it right-effortlessly.

Aim to Please!

XOXO,
Debby

Debby’s Picks- We’ll Help You Nail It!

•February 1, 2015 • Leave a Comment

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It is my belief that one should not wait for Valentine’s Day to give lingerie. There are a million reasons to do it any of the other 364 days of the year. We’ll school you on this soon, but, with February 14th fast approaching, I would be remiss in not making some personal recommendations about what would be great choices this Valentine’s Day.

My top choice, pictured above, is the Lascivious Milla Bra and Thong. This is by far my favorite bra (this month, anyway) in my own collection. Having a halter neck, but wearable with anything, this bra is like the tuxedo of lingerie. Finely made, smooth, sleek, sexy, and architecturally constructed, this is a home run in my book.

For the gal that maybe is a little less edgy, but still oh so sexy, another great choice for the lover’s holiday is the Sweetest Sin Push Up Bra and Hipster. Bright, beautiful and slightly more traditional, you can’t go wrong with this pick.

Looking for something a little more Sporty Spice-like? The Lurex Stripe Bralette and Girl Short will not disappoint. Sassy, sexy and comfortable beyond imagination.

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Last, for a fun Valentine’s Day Red surprise, the Space Odyssey Push Up Bra and Thong is on point. Super playful, bright red, a little risqué, and actually really comfortable, this is a bang for your buck set. Take a walk on the wild side and turn things red hot!

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NEW YORK IS MY BOYFRIEND, BUT PARIS IS MY LOVER!

•January 23, 2015 • Leave a Comment

“It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it.” — Voltaire.

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Nothing is as sexy, romantic and indicative of ooh la la (ok, and just HOT), as is Paris. So it stands to reason, the most amazing lingerie show in the world, would be held there. That’s right. Lingerie show. Fashion shows, like fashion week in New York, and all of the world’s lingerie industry, converging in one place, to see the newest, the finest, the most avant-garde and the legendary. The Salon International de la Lingerie, the largest and most significant lingerie trade show in the world.

Lingerie inspires. Lingerie influences how we feel. Lingerie is art.

Paris. This is where I go for inspiration for myself,  and to find the things that you don’t see everywhere in the United States, for you. And so, tomorrow, off to Paris I go. For me. For you!

Check back for updates and don’t forget you can click on the images for close ups and to see .gifs (to come), in action…

Belle et Bonbon

I LOVE MEN! NO, REALLY…

•July 15, 2014 • 1 Comment

As long as I can remember, I have been surrounded by men.

Growing up, I spent my weekends fishing or riding dirt bikes with my Dad and my brother. Every Summer at camp, I would hang out on the steps of the boys’ bunks each afternoon because my closest allies were there, not on the girls’ hill.

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Later, in college, I would find myself surrounded by the brothers of the fraternity where I was a little sister. They were my partners in crime (some literally) and my adventure mates. I was their ear, and everybody’s “sister.” Not so sure I always loved that last part, but that’s another blog post entirely.

Post college, this trend of men in my life finally hit me, when I found myself in the Bahamas with 12 men as part of a bachelor party (and no, I was not the “entertainment”).

It wasn’t that I didn’t have girl friends, but my confidants and most of my adventures – always dudes. I am not entirely positive as to why. I never actually thought about it until my dear friend Sara, recently asked me. Best guess, without paying a therapist, in my younger years I was way more comfortable in my own skin around people that also wore no makeup and had no boobs. :) Very. Late. Bloomer.

So clearly, I love men. Really.

Fast forward to the second incarnation of my adult life and opening my lingerie boutique in Boulder, Colorado. It was a labor of love, to pay tribute to the incredible strong and independent women that paved the way out West, long before my kids and I moved across the country and made Boulder home.

It was also very much my intention to shake things up and make men feel comfortable in this traditionally frilly land of uneasiness, not only by making it fun to come in and hang out a while, but ultimately, taking the fear out of all the little, sexy, silky things surrounding them. Did I mention little? Every detail of the physical store – down to the cowhides, barware gift-wrap and saddle – was intended to welcome men to the pseudo-Bourbon bar.

What I learned during the seven year life of The T*Bar, is that I not only love men… Apparently, I sorta speak dude.

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TheTBar.com was born of my melting pot of circumstances. I have a unique perspective: a lifetime of being a guy’s girl, years of successfully pulling the right information out of men when attempting to buy lingerie, realizing where the disconnect is and actually being a woman who understands sizing and what women actually wish to sport around in. Not to mention my insane obsession with lingerie. A superfecta!

After years of observing the challenges of men just wanting to do something nice (and hot) for the women in their lives – buying lingerie – it occurred to me that there was a way to ease the angst and help men do this in a painless way beyond the physical store. TheTBar.com actually helps men get it right. While doing this in store was a T*Bar no brainer, providing men the ability to get the same result, from the privacy of their home or office, enables even the most timid to join the ranks of the lingerie heroes! After all, we believe it should be equally as fun to shop for lingerie, as it is to take off. You heard me, fun!

Like the lovechild of Bettie Page and Paul Newman, The T*Bar empowers men, and the women they love, to embrace and own their sexuality in a playful, powerful and inspired way, with no apologies.

Simply put, The T*Bar is the conduit between men’s fantasies and women’s desires. Everybody wins!

 

xo-Debby

PS-Stay tuned for the new site/blog unveiling soon :) For now, visit us at http://www.thetbar.com

Remembering

•April 2, 2010 • 3 Comments

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot this week. It started when I came home and my house smelled of the Passover smells that I remembered from her apartment building when I was a child. I had been cooking the food for our Sedar and went out to run an errand. When I returned home, I got out of my car in the garage and was overpowered by the smells and flood of memories. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I kept wondering what she might say to me if she were still alive. I have had a lot of questions for her lately. So many choices and challenges, and no Nana to talk to. When she died, I was not long out of college and hadn’t really embarked on the road that brought me here, nor had I faced more than one or two real challenges at that point in my life. My Nana was something. She was very intelligent. She never went to a University, but she read incessantly and loved her crosswords. She was very opinionated, yet diplomatic. She could cook wonderfully, and she was a stunner. I remember she had silver white hair. She looked like she was made for that hair color, though, obviously wasn’t born that way. She was glamorous, from my point of view. She also loved my Pop Pop until the day she died, ten years after he had passed away. She lit up when talking about him. I distinctly remember staying with them overnight, and my brother and I laughing, because my Pop Pop would chase her around the apartment grabbing her and making her giggle. After all those years, they were giddy like teenagers, when they’d flirt. Of course, as a child, you think, “oh god, here they go again! It’s so embarrassing.” I look back, and have for years, with the most amazing fondness of that memory and many more. My favorite one, was how they’d tease each other and we’d all tease them, “that it would never last”, speaking of their marriage, always knowing how incredibly in love they actually were. I think they had an incredibly healthy view of sex and were not ashamed that we knew they still “did it” :)

I know that she was the female influence in my life for many things. Even things I am sure my parents probably think they somehow were responsible for, I feel she may have really been the influence behind. My being Bat Mitzvahed, the first girl in our family to do so, going to college, following my passions rather than being boxed into some predetermined role, our shared love of art and the desire to see the entire world. All of these things were our private conversations. She was someone who made me contemplate things, and made it clear that women should have their own opinion and be able to back it up. She assured me that I was filled with gifts and talents far beyond anything I could see then. I believed her and know that when things have been tough in the past, it was those conversations that gave me the strength to keep trying. When I was in college and my parents split up, my mom went AWOL, so to speak, disappearing from my life for about three months. I am not sure where or why, but Nana was on the phone encouraging me to stay focused on school and my life, not my parents’.

I wrote a quick note to my Dad yesterday. I told him of my smell induced memories and that I thought she’d be proud of the Sedar I made. I told him of how I hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her, especially yesterday (March 31). He replied that she was always proud of everything about me, and that it happened to be the anniversary of her death yesterday, and maybe that was why I felt her, especially then. I had no idea it was that date. Nineteen years have passed since she died. Almost as much time has gone since she died, as I had with her in my life. I laugh sometimes to myself wondering what she’d think of my store, and I know with utter certainty, she’d grin, ear to ear loving it and me.

Spring Cleaning

•March 13, 2010 • 4 Comments

As I was doing Spring-cleaning in my house, I found myself needing to clear out my mind, as well.  The store has been closed for a while now, and with that, initially, I was busy around the clock preparing for the next phase, a new, greater, properly funded e-commerce site. About three weeks ago, I came to a grinding halt. Both, the momentum and excitement ceased to exist. Fear not, it is back with a vengeance, but it forced a look inside me, and not just my cluttered abode.

There was so much more riding on the outcome of this venture than could be seen from the outside. Even the most astute observer, who certainly realizes the importance of someone’s livelihood, to anyone, could not possibly realize all that was tied to this venture for me, and my family.

So many things had brought us to this place. While cleaning in my home, I came across a small wooden box, which looks like a small treasure chest. It was in plain view, yet I had all but forgotten it existed. Inside were several journals written by me. I knew what was in them, yet they seemed so unfamiliar. I began reading them. I didn’t read them all. I couldn’t. They were sad and scared and filled with loads of pain. They were written over the course of two to three years while living in Miami and while going through the process of moving to Boulder and trying to heal the open wounds I landed here with. My children are now old enough that we talk about why I left and how incredibly difficult that decision was, but in that time frame, it felt life saving, and probably, in reality, was. My daughter is a young woman now and believes there is a story in those journals that should be written. I am not a writer, so I am not sure if it will happen. Without going too far astray, the story in those journals is about rebirth. Moving on from a painful battle with PTSD, which cost me my husband and separated a family. Maybe I will write about it someday, with the help of Casey, the actual writer in this family. More immediately, though, I am writing about what came out of that time period in my life. Part of that rebirth, was moving to Boulder, and opening The T-Bar. I knew when I left Miami that this life is short and precious and should not be wasted. I picked Boulder because I always loved it and it was a safe place for me and to raise children. I did not pick Boulder knowing I’d end up moving here without my husband. Fast forward beyond that part, I am now living here with them for over nine years. This is our home and this is our community. We love it here.

When I look back on those journals, I remember the person who showed up here one day, absolutely terrified and shell shocked for so many reasons. She didn’t resemble any part of the person I knew in younger years, nor the person I am today. The T-Bar was opened as a tribute to the strong women of spirit that settled this area, but also, and I never said this publicly before, as a tribute to all the women of courage that have had giant obstacles or odds to overcome, and did so with grace, quiet strength and sheer will. I had hoped that I would ultimately be included on that list, in my own rite. That was the final piece of The T-Bar’s conceptual history.

So, in my house I sat cleaning out clutter, reclaiming a peaceful home, and while doing so the clutter that had built up in my mind the last few months. When asked why I put a hold on my decision regarding mastectomy ( https://thetbar.wordpress.com/2009/10/05/reconciling-choices/ ), I answered, because I am trying to save my business and that is of equal importance to me as my health. Many think that is crazy, but I spent over five years developing this concept, building relationships and really believing in the idea that the outcome would be bright, empowering (forgive the overused term, but it applies) and a legacy to my kids that was a tangible reminder of everything I raised them on.  Life is short. Live passionately and do what you love. Never give up without trying every last thing. Do your best and you can be proud. I had to do this now, or after surgery, if I ended up going that way, there would be nothing to go back to. I also knew that my decision to put off any immediate action with my health wasn’t scary to me. I had lived scary before and that was all through the stories in those journals. I knew what I was capable of enduring.

After months of trying to raise interest in my concept and raise the money to take it online in an effective and properly funded way, I am not there yet. I continue to try, but it just may not happen. The physical store needs the aid of this online presence to thrive therefore it will no longer exist if the fundraising efforts are fruitless. The clutter in my mind that needed clearing was that voice that felt intense fear and failure. I had to remind myself, that being an entrepreneur is risky, and failure happens. A dear friend, and someone whose opinion carried a lot of weight with me, had told me a while ago, that I shouldn’t feel a sense of failure if the business had to close. That the courage to take the risk, the creativity of creating the concept and the whole hearted attempt to make it work, should be remembered with pride, and not the feeling of failure, if it didn’t work. I spent the next 20 months after that conversation trying absolutely everything and giving my best to this business I love and trying to help it endure the economic times.

During the time the store has been closed to the public, I have had a different work schedule. I am working at home on the e-commerce plan and therefore I have had more time for some things that recently had been less frequent. I have cooked a lot more meals. I have had more time to go to the climbing gym and be showed up by my son, Bailey. I have been able to pick my kids up at school instead of their riding the bus. It has been wonderful. Right down to being able to hear my son say thank you for dinner every time I cook for him. Amazing, really. I am not a stay at home Mom, though. I did that when they were younger. I am ready to continue these things, but with my store and website re-open so that the picture is complete.

As I said before, there was so much more riding on the outcome of this project. Everything I came here to find, achieve and give to my family was tied to this.  In the Spring-cleaning process, I came to accept that maybe finding the journals now was a reminder of how far I had come and to clear out the sense of failure regardless of the final outcome. Practically speaking, it was a time to clear the clutter as well. We may need to move depending on how this chapter turns out and are prepared to do so with heads held high.  So back to the process of trying to raise money and maybe, just maybe there is a new project in those journals for the future.

Looking Forward to 2010 and Beyond!

•January 4, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Dear T-Bar friends, fans, followers, and loyal customers

2010 is bringing exciting changes for The T-Bar. We are moving forward with a combined store and an online strategy!
In order to achieve a successful combined vision, we will temporarily suspend normal retail hours. During this transition, we will gladly open by appointment for a private shopping experience.

Stay tuned for an even more exciting T-Bar in the near future.

To schedule an appointment please contact us at 303-444-5453 or info@thetbar.com
Follow us on twitter @TheTBar or our facebook fan page “The T*Bar Boulder”

Thank you for your continued support!
The T-Bar Boulder

 
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