Wearing it for Him is His/Story

 

Having a shitty day is the pits, but it is a universal misfortune. The severity of the “shitiness” can range from being late and spilling coffee on yourself to getting a not so nice letter from the IRS. Regardless, we have go-to vices to help aid us in our times of need. For me, it can range from a perfect Manhattan in a quiet bar, or a 7 mile run somewhere where I can scream and no one will hear me (that’s reserved for the biblical days). One of the most common though and the vice that unites a majority of women is the forever faithful, retail therapy. Recently however I’ve noticed a shift in some of my friends. Instead of reaching for a new pair of booties or little dress they’ve been sliding on something a little silkier. The therapy portion of buying yourself some lingerie is more rewarding than some of the other material items that we choose as therapeutic fixes. Putting on a lil somethin’ for myself, gives my confidence that minor kick in the ass that reminds me, I am fantastic and beautiful! No matter what chaos is currently ensuing.

Plus, its my little reminder, a sexy secret. One that I am keeping with myself. A little string tied around my finger, better yet my waist or hips 😉

Lingerie acts as the blueprint and foundation of my favorite outfits. It takes something that already makes me feel good, and gives it wings.

It’s the suggestion that makes lingerie what it is. It’s that little tease of being completely naked but covered subtly by different textures and patterns that ignites the human psyche.

 

From a social and historic stand point lingerie is traditionally purchased for special occasions. It’s not really thought about until we have an excuse to have a date night. But why not make the massive meeting you have next week a date? A date with yourself. Pairing a great bra with matching panties has the ability to make you feel more put together. The more put together you feel? The better product you produce, bottom line. There’s no wrong that lingerie can do! Just like men have lucky boxers? I have lucky bra’s, bustier’s, and bodysuits! (A girl’s got to have options ya know?)

Of course sexy situations are always made better by wearing lingerie. I’m not preaching never wear them for your partners. The attitude however has an awesome shift when you put something on for yourself. I find that my mans reaction becomes irrelevant. I can look in the mirror and think, damn I look good! Truth is he’ll appreciate it not matter what, if he doesn’t? He don’t deserve ya!

So, boys? We’ll let you continue to believe it’s for you. But there’s no denying we love to lace up for ourselves.

Ladies, treat yo self!

-Tiny T

thetbar.com

Letting my Gart(er) Down

 

(Sara Sampaio for Victoria’s Secret)

I suppose ‘becoming a woman’ can be patented subjectively. Getting your period, losing your virginity, going out on your first date without curfew, establishing a career, summiting your first fourteener. Putting on your big girl pants is dependent the material you prefer to wear and where you’re headed.

‘Are you there god? It’s me Sierra.’ moment occurred when I clipped in my first thigh high. Just like most things, putting on a garter appears much more glamorous in the movies. There is a lot of adjusting and re-clipping that occurs. I twisted and turned my body in ways that not even a yoga instructor could choreograph. By the time everything was situated, I had sweated out the curls in my hair.

With no anti-frizz serum in sight I stood up feeling slightly defeated but excited. I put my stilettos (for full effect) and walked over to the floor length mirror.

It was in that moment where I realized the little girl had been shed and the woman had been adjusted and re-clipped in. Whether it was the way that the belt pulled in my waist or the way the straps met the opaque thigh highs, lengthening my legs. I fell in love with myself.

I could sit here and put on an ultra-feminist front and tell you that I wasn’t putting on this lingerie for a man, but then I would be lying. I’m not good at that. I was indeed putting it on for a man. A man who I cared about very much.  Because personally, that’s half the fun. And the other part of this empowering experience. Sleeping with someone is one thing, but spending money on something that the media solely displays on photoshopped models and wearing that for someone is another. It’s another step of venerability. I’m not saying that every time a woman puts on lingerie there is a novella in her head covering every ‘why or why not?’ she should wear a piece. Because quite frankly I know women who wear corsets, thigh-highs, and garter belts under their three piece suits to work on a weekly basis.

I’m talking situational. When a woman wears something for her partner, man or woman. It helps make a passionate moment become engraved. Every time she looks at that piece, she’ll associate it with that specific moment. A tangible piece of nostalgia.

That’s why lingerie matters, to me.

-Sierra aka Tiny-T

 

 

Our Own CTO (Adam) Weighs In On Why Lingerie Matters

Natalia Vodianova for Etam Lingerie

SEX! YES SEX!!! Let’s get it right on the table. Lingerie is made for celebrating sexuality, accenting the lines of a woman that define her edges and curves. And while it is objectification at some level, a framed work of art so to speak, is that really always bad thing? While someone’s captivating personality may be the hook to lure you in, the body is frequently the consummation of the attraction, no way around that.

We were built for sex, yet for some reason, our culture seems to shy away from accepting it. Lingerie is still talked about in hushed whispers when it should be celebrated as a weapon against the Puritans, and part of the wonderful joy that is human sexuality. Lingerie Matters. I ask you, what is sexier than a naked woman? For many of us, a scantily clad woman, no secret there. But what is it? There’s no doubt that what she’s wearing can have a direct effect on our arousal level, and lingerie just continues that past the bedroom door. As an amateur photographer (and probably just being male), I find myself drawn to visuals that enhance my surroundings, much the same way camping is enhanced by a star filled sky. Take it to the next level in the bedroom, or whatever room of the house you prefer, like say…. the kitchen, and lingerie is a catalyst in driving our desire. It helps fuel the fantasy of who our partner is, or more specifically, who she is tonight. We need to warm up to our humanness as sexual creatures, and while we don’t need lingerie to be sexual creatures, when we’re trying to set a tone, it definitely helps.

Have you ever caught a glimpse of your partner in a strategically placed mirror (accidentally or otherwise), and marveled at how what she’s wearing drove your mind crazy? Did you stare at the thigh high lace stockings, and watched as they moved with her, the alternate view in the mirror having the effect of detaching you from your surroundings, like a voyeur in your own story? Not that this has ever happened to me, but it sounds very nice :).

Now, do I have to have it? No. Do I always want it? No. If it was on every time she (or I) took her clothes off, I would grow accustomed to it and it would lose its magic. To me, it’s the special meal you get to enjoy at irregular intervals, sometimes several nights in a row, and other times, a week or two in between when life gets in the way. But we must make time for it, our health, mental and physical, demands it.

Angela

As I move into my late 40’s, I have noticed a dramatic shift in my attitude, from the raw sexual desire in my 20’s, to this need for eroticism and ‘loaded’ interactions with my partners. The end game is no longer the primary goal, but the journey now takes on a higher importance. Lingerie makes that possible in a way regular underwear does not. I see a woman who wears lingerie as a woman who celebrates her own sexuality, and a woman who celebrates her own sexuality is going to be an excellent partner, be it casual or long-term, in the flirtatious dance over a bottle of wine and beyond. If all goes well, the sliding off of the dinner clothes to reveal a tastefully crafted ensemble, will let you know what kind of woman she is tonight. Lingerie is the rocket fuel of desire. You think about that……

So, what have we learned here? Mostly just that Adam really likes women in lingerie, but I hope that perhaps if you were someone who didn’t see the benefit and joy of sexy underthings, that maybe you will give it a second thought, and find out what makes you and your partner’s motors run.

Ciao

Adam CTO aka Mr T

#lingeriematters

http://www.thetbar.com

Lighten Up Francis, It’s Just Lingerie!

Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie?

I had issues with our signage at the old store due to the fact that the women were in bras. Mind you, they were also more covered than most people on a beach or in the local climbing gym, for that matter.

Facebook recently started rejecting our ads due to suggestive content/nudity. Again, more coverage than a bikini and the content suggested that perhaps she’d like to receive a gift from her guy. Oh my, how scandalous!

The T*Bar when it lived in downtown Boulder

So it begs the question, what the hell? Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie? Is it because it suggests so much more? Sex? Sexiness? Confidence? Lust? So what if it does? We are humans and we have sex. It’s kind of how we’re built. It’s how we all got here, by the way. I personally, would prefer to embrace the attitude, and create a culture that supports it, that this is one of the bonuses of being wired with emotion, as humans-we can have fun here-as opposed to the viewing our sexuality as a means to an end.

Perhaps it’s time to take a cue from our pals across the pond. The Euros have a great sense of humor around this whole topic, from the designs of the product itself, to the cheeky humor that surrounds the marketing and distribution of the same. That’s one of the reasons many of our vendors are from abroad. Kriss Soonik and Marlies Dekkers are two of our favorites. How’s the Marlies Dekkers Gloria Pin Stripe for a power suit?

At The T*Bar, we work really hard to make the experience fun, as it should be. So, in an effort to help break down these taboo’s and spread The TQween’s gospel, that we should be able to talk about such things and lighten up, we are going to share some of the reasons I believe lingerie matters (aside from my obvious obsession), and over the coming weeks will ask some of you to let us know why lingerie matters to you, as well.

Recently, I was visiting with a man I had a relationship with and still am very close to. While we are not together, I will hold a very unique place in my heart for this person for my lifetime. There’s a myriad of reasons why, but one reason in particular of an intimate nature, is how he made me feel when it came to my lingerie. Seen-not invisible. He always knew, and still does, if I was wearing something new or he’d not seen before.

While he never gave me lingerie (nobody ever has-*sniffle), he appreciated that I treated it as gift wrap and a playful part of who I am, whether we were going to a football game with my Gator orange underthings for good luck, or an incredible dinner at a favorite restaurant in his hometown, with a fun surprise for “dessert”. The fact that he noticed, took time to say so, and even weighed in on favorites, made me feel absolutely seen, not invisible. That is some powerful shit.

XOXO

Debby aka The TQween

#lingeriematters

We’re Changing Our Name!

As of today, The Panty Press is changing our name to Lingerie Matters.

Here at The T*Bar, we feel it is more in line with the direction we are headed.

Stay tuned…..

#lingeriematters

VALENTINE’S DAY: THE GATEWAY HOLIDAY FOR LINGERIE GIVING

“Our bodies are our homes, so decorate them as you wish!”-unknown

Angelina Jolie – Helmut Newton

Do it for her!
I can sadly say (*sniffle), that no man has ever given me lingerie. Me?! Le sigh. 😉 Yes, yes, I know, likely fear given it’s my profession and my extensive collection and passion for the stuff, according to my “circle of brothers”, but really, never?! Hmpf! I would have appreciated just knowing he was picking something he wished to see me in…and out of.

Don’t be that guy. We’ll help you be that “other” guy…you know, the one that thrills her – with confidence and good taste and strong sexuality.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect gateway holiday to begin the journey of lingerie gift giving. It takes some of the pressure off because, well, first she’s hoping you are going to do something for her on VD, so it’s not out of the blue so to speak (although that’s really exciting, when there is no actual reason). Second, it’s the perfect time to spice things up anyway, since the whole thing about Valentine’s Day is making the effort, to make space for love, romance, and yes-sex! It’s all part of our love lives as humans, so lighten up and enjoy the ride (ahem).

That’s why we’re here. So you get it right-effortlessly.

Aim to Please!

XOXO,
Debby

Debby’s Picks- We’ll Help You Nail It!

It is my belief that one should not wait for Valentine’s Day to give lingerie. There are a million reasons to do it any of the other 364 days of the year. We’ll school you on this soon, but, with February 14th fast approaching, I would be remiss in not making some personal recommendations about what would be great choices this Valentine’s Day.

My top choice, pictured above, is the Lascivious Milla Bra and Thong. This is by far my favorite bra (this month, anyway) in my own collection. Having a halter neck, but wearable with anything, this bra is like the tuxedo of lingerie. Finely made, smooth, sleek, sexy, and architecturally constructed, this is a home run in my book.

For the gal that maybe is a little less edgy, but still oh so sexy, another great choice for the lover’s holiday is the Sweetest Sin Push Up Bra and Hipster. Bright, beautiful and slightly more traditional, you can’t go wrong with this pick.

Looking for something a little more Sporty Spice-like? The Lurex Stripe Bralette and Girl Short will not disappoint. Sassy, sexy and comfortable beyond imagination.

Last, for a fun Valentine’s Day Red surprise, the Space Odyssey Push Up Bra and Thong is on point. Super playful, bright red, a little risqué, and actually really comfortable, this is a bang for your buck set. Take a walk on the wild side and turn things red hot!

NEW YORK IS MY BOYFRIEND, BUT PARIS IS MY LOVER!

“It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it.” — Voltaire.

Nothing is as sexy, romantic and indicative of ooh la la (ok, and just HOT), as is Paris. So it stands to reason, the most amazing lingerie show in the world, would be held there. That’s right. Lingerie show. Fashion shows, like fashion week in New York, and all of the world’s lingerie industry, converging in one place, to see the newest, the finest, the most avant-garde and the legendary. The Salon International de la Lingerie, the largest and most significant lingerie trade show in the world.

Lingerie inspires. Lingerie influences how we feel. Lingerie is art.

Paris. This is where I go for inspiration for myself,  and to find the things that you don’t see everywhere in the United States, for you. And so, tomorrow, off to Paris I go. For me. For you!

Check back for updates and don’t forget you can click on the images for close ups and to see .gifs (to come), in action…

I LOVE MEN! NO, REALLY…

As long as I can remember, I have been surrounded by men.

Growing up, I spent my weekends fishing or riding dirt bikes with my Dad and my brother. Every Summer at camp, I would hang out on the steps of the boys’ bunks each afternoon because my closest allies were there, not on the girls’ hill.

Later, in college, I would find myself surrounded by the brothers of the fraternity where I was a little sister. They were my partners in crime (some literally) and my adventure mates. I was their ear, and everybody’s “sister.” Not so sure I always loved that last part, but that’s another blog post entirely.

Post college, this trend of men in my life finally hit me, when I found myself in the Bahamas with 12 men as part of a bachelor party (and no, I was not the “entertainment”).

It wasn’t that I didn’t have girl friends, but my confidants and most of my adventures – always dudes. I am not entirely positive as to why. I never actually thought about it until my dear friend Sara, recently asked me. Best guess, without paying a therapist, in my younger years I was way more comfortable in my own skin around people that also wore no makeup and had no boobs. 🙂 Very. Late. Bloomer.

So clearly, I love men. Really.

Fast forward to the second incarnation of my adult life and opening my lingerie boutique in Boulder, Colorado. It was a labor of love, to pay tribute to the incredible strong and independent women that paved the way out West, long before my kids and I moved across the country and made Boulder home.

It was also very much my intention to shake things up and make men feel comfortable in this traditionally frilly land of uneasiness, not only by making it fun to come in and hang out a while, but ultimately, taking the fear out of all the little, sexy, silky things surrounding them. Did I mention little? Every detail of the physical store – down to the cowhides, barware gift-wrap and saddle – was intended to welcome men to the pseudo-Bourbon bar.

What I learned during the seven year life of The T*Bar, is that I not only love men… Apparently, I sorta speak dude.

TheTBar.com was born of my melting pot of circumstances. I have a unique perspective: a lifetime of being a guy’s girl, years of successfully pulling the right information out of men when attempting to buy lingerie, realizing where the disconnect is and actually being a woman who understands sizing and what women actually wish to sport around in. Not to mention my insane obsession with lingerie. A superfecta!

After years of observing the challenges of men just wanting to do something nice (and hot) for the women in their lives – buying lingerie – it occurred to me that there was a way to ease the angst and help men do this in a painless way beyond the physical store. TheTBar.com actually helps men get it right. While doing this in store was a T*Bar no brainer, providing men the ability to get the same result, from the privacy of their home or office, enables even the most timid to join the ranks of the lingerie heroes! After all, we believe it should be equally as fun to shop for lingerie, as it is to take off. You heard me, fun!

Like the lovechild of Bettie Page and Paul Newman, The T*Bar empowers men, and the women they love, to embrace and own their sexuality in a playful, powerful and inspired way, with no apologies.

Simply put, The T*Bar is the conduit between men’s fantasies and women’s desires. Everybody wins!

 

xo-Debby

PS-Stay tuned for the new site/blog unveiling soon 🙂 For now, visit us at http://www.thetbar.com

Remembering

I have been thinking about my Nana a lot this week. It started when I came home and my house smelled of the Passover smells that I remembered from her apartment building when I was a child. I had been cooking the food for our Sedar and went out to run an errand. When I returned home, I got out of my car in the garage and was overpowered by the smells and flood of memories. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking of her. I kept wondering what she might say to me if she were still alive. I have had a lot of questions for her lately. So many choices and challenges, and no Nana to talk to. When she died, I was not long out of college and hadn’t really embarked on the road that brought me here, nor had I faced more than one or two real challenges at that point in my life. My Nana was something. She was very intelligent. She never went to a University, but she read incessantly and loved her crosswords. She was very opinionated, yet diplomatic. She could cook wonderfully, and she was a stunner. I remember she had silver white hair. She looked like she was made for that hair color, though, obviously wasn’t born that way. She was glamorous, from my point of view. She also loved my Pop Pop until the day she died, ten years after he had passed away. She lit up when talking about him. I distinctly remember staying with them overnight, and my brother and I laughing, because my Pop Pop would chase her around the apartment grabbing her and making her giggle. After all those years, they were giddy like teenagers, when they’d flirt. Of course, as a child, you think, “oh god, here they go again! It’s so embarrassing.” I look back, and have for years, with the most amazing fondness of that memory and many more. My favorite one, was how they’d tease each other and we’d all tease them, “that it would never last”, speaking of their marriage, always knowing how incredibly in love they actually were. I think they had an incredibly healthy view of sex and were not ashamed that we knew they still “did it” 🙂

I know that she was the female influence in my life for many things. Even things I am sure my parents probably think they somehow were responsible for, I feel she may have really been the influence behind. My being Bat Mitzvahed, the first girl in our family to do so, going to college, following my passions rather than being boxed into some predetermined role, our shared love of art and the desire to see the entire world. All of these things were our private conversations. She was someone who made me contemplate things, and made it clear that women should have their own opinion and be able to back it up. She assured me that I was filled with gifts and talents far beyond anything I could see then. I believed her and know that when things have been tough in the past, it was those conversations that gave me the strength to keep trying. When I was in college and my parents split up, my mom went AWOL, so to speak, disappearing from my life for about three months. I am not sure where or why, but Nana was on the phone encouraging me to stay focused on school and my life, not my parents’.

I wrote a quick note to my Dad yesterday. I told him of my smell induced memories and that I thought she’d be proud of the Sedar I made. I told him of how I hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her, especially yesterday (March 31). He replied that she was always proud of everything about me, and that it happened to be the anniversary of her death yesterday, and maybe that was why I felt her, especially then. I had no idea it was that date. Nineteen years have passed since she died. Almost as much time has gone since she died, as I had with her in my life. I laugh sometimes to myself wondering what she’d think of my store, and I know with utter certainty, she’d grin, ear to ear loving it and me.