Lighten Up Francis, It’s Just Lingerie!

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Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie?

I had issues with our signage at the old store due to the fact that the women were in bras. Mind you, they were also more covered than most people on a beach or in the local climbing gym, for that matter.

Facebook recently started rejecting our ads due to suggestive content/nudity. Again, more coverage than a bikini and the content suggested that perhaps she’d like to receive a gift from her guy. Oh my, how scandalous!

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The T*Bar when it lived in downtown Boulder

So it begs the question, what the hell? Why do people get their panties in a wad at the topic of lingerie? Is it because it suggests so much more? Sex? Sexiness? Confidence? Lust? So what if it does? We are humans and we have sex. It’s kind of how we’re built. It’s how we all got here, by the way. I personally, would prefer to embrace the attitude, and create a culture that supports it, that this is one of the bonuses of being wired with emotion, as humans-we can have fun here-as opposed to the viewing our sexuality as a means to an end.

Perhaps it’s time to take a cue from our pals across the pond. The Euros have a great sense of humor around this whole topic, from the designs of the product itself, to the cheeky humor that surrounds the marketing and distribution of the same. That’s one of the reasons many of our vendors are from abroad. Kriss Soonik and Marlies Dekkers are two of our favorites. How’s the Marlies Dekkers Gloria Pin Stripe for a power suit?

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At The T*Bar, we work really hard to make the experience fun, as it should be. So, in an effort to help break down these taboo’s and spread The TQween’s gospel, that we should be able to talk about such things and lighten up, we are going to share some of the reasons I believe lingerie matters (aside from my obvious obsession), and over the coming weeks will ask some of you to let us know why lingerie matters to you, as well.

Recently, I was visiting with a man I had a relationship with and still am very close to. While we are not together, I will hold a very unique place in my heart for this person for my lifetime. There’s a myriad of reasons why, but one reason in particular of an intimate nature, is how he made me feel when it came to my lingerie. Seen-not invisible. He always knew, and still does, if I was wearing something new or he’d not seen before.

While he never gave me lingerie (nobody ever has-*sniffle), he appreciated that I treated it as gift wrap and a playful part of who I am, whether we were going to a football game with my Gator orange underthings for good luck, or an incredible dinner at a favorite restaurant in his hometown, with a fun surprise for “dessert”. The fact that he noticed, took time to say so, and even weighed in on favorites, made me feel absolutely seen, not invisible. That is some powerful shit.

XOXO

Debby aka The TQween

#lingeriematters

Debby’s Picks- We’ll Help You Nail It!

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It is my belief that one should not wait for Valentine’s Day to give lingerie. There are a million reasons to do it any of the other 364 days of the year. We’ll school you on this soon, but, with February 14th fast approaching, I would be remiss in not making some personal recommendations about what would be great choices this Valentine’s Day.

My top choice, pictured above, is the Lascivious Milla Bra and Thong. This is by far my favorite bra (this month, anyway) in my own collection. Having a halter neck, but wearable with anything, this bra is like the tuxedo of lingerie. Finely made, smooth, sleek, sexy, and architecturally constructed, this is a home run in my book.

For the gal that maybe is a little less edgy, but still oh so sexy, another great choice for the lover’s holiday is the Sweetest Sin Push Up Bra and Hipster. Bright, beautiful and slightly more traditional, you can’t go wrong with this pick.

Looking for something a little more Sporty Spice-like? The Lurex Stripe Bralette and Girl Short will not disappoint. Sassy, sexy and comfortable beyond imagination.

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Last, for a fun Valentine’s Day Red surprise, the Space Odyssey Push Up Bra and Thong is on point. Super playful, bright red, a little risqué, and actually really comfortable, this is a bang for your buck set. Take a walk on the wild side and turn things red hot!

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Are you a Vixen? What is your lingerie personality?

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Let’s face it. How we dress can affect how we are viewed and how we present ourselves to the world. I am always droning on about my belief that it all starts with how we feel about ourselves, followed by what we choose to put on underneath the shell. This led me to thinking about one of my favorite blogs http://www.knickersblog.com and their lingerie personality quiz http://www.knickersblog.com/quiz Just as we have different personalities outwardly, we have different lingerie personalities. We express ourselves, like art, using these details to convey something, whether or not someone else has the pleasure of actually seeing the knickers or not!

We want you to take their quiz! Figure it out! THEN…..write in and tell us what your lingerie personality is AND visit http://www.thetbar.com and tell us what you’d pick to express that personality. One lucky winner will receive a $25 gift card to apply toward their lingerie personality selection!

Attitude adjustment!

Blush LingerieIt’s only human nature to let our insecurities get the best of us sometimes. Most likely there’s always going to be that one problem area on your body that you have a hard time coming to terms with. Let’s face it- we all do, but does it inhibit you from buying that adorable set you’ve been thinking of treating yourself to? I work in the store everyday, listening to women worry and fret over some imperfection, and then have to remind them that none of us are perfect, nor do we get airbrushed in real life (although, I have had that fantasy a few times at the beginning of bathing suit season)! Seriously, it is how you feel that matters and a quick way to get an attitude adjustment is by starting with what’s underneath. They are not called foundations for nothing! It is the foundation of how you feel all day, of how you carry yourself out your door and into the world, and most definitely, the foundation for our own self image!!!

Don’t forget to go to http://www.dailycandy.com/deals/details.jsp?id=42147 to save 30% at http://www.thetbar.com and comment on our blog to enter to win the shwag from our last post ( https://thetbar.wordpress.com/2009/03/10/sweet-as-candy/ )

Sweet as Candy!

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In celebration of you and in celebration of our new online store (www.thetbar.com) being recognized in “The Daily Candy Deals”, we are giving away
a Carol Malony “All Tied Up” set, and twenty, yes twenty,  Betsey Johnson embellished thongs!! Yes, free.
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Carol Malony All Tied Up

Betsey Johnson embellished thong

To enter, comment on this blog and you could be a winner! AND….the entire site is 30% off!! Want the deal? Go to Daily Candy Deals and sign up at  http://www.dailycandy.com/deals/

Didn’t get what you wanted for Valentine’s Day? As we always say, “Get it for yourself”!

In the spirit of what The T-Bar is all about, we are excited to celebrate the post-Valentine season with March being “Celebrate You Month” at The T-Bar. We have always said we are all about celebrating strong, independent women who love themselves! There is nothing more empowering and sexy than not waiting around, so don’t! What better way to treat yourself, than with a treat for yourself?  Get it for yourself, wear it for yourself, celebrate yourself, be yourself.

We’re here to help……www.thetbar.com

Strip Tease (after all Valentine’s Day is coming)

Recently, I received this link (http://tinyurl.com/d2evuu) about “The Bra Project” dance performance from a friend that made me think about how much I love that there are others out there who are truly as nuts about lingerie as I am—and how a good ole strip tease is sooo back in style. I swear, Kelly Anderson from “The Bra Project” must be a twin sister of mine from a different mother. Anyway, what “The Bra Project” reminded me of was not only that I really do love lingerie—and a good strip tease—but why. As Kelly puts it, “It’s more about what you conceal than what you show.” Its more about what makes you feel good, pretty, and sexy inside and how you choose to show it. Which brings me to Kelly’s brilliant “reverse strip tease,” and what would be my perfect costume for such a treat on this coming Valentine’s Day…

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I’ve always been a big fan of hats and boots. Then I began wondering about what should lie beneath the trench coat and, of course, Carol Malony Ooh La La came to mind. Who can resist this little (and I mean little!) number. 1/4 cup bra, reminiscent of the Beer Garden maids and the garter panty with removable garters! Too fun and two undies in one. Eat your heart out, boys!

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So, in honor of getting that oh-so-hot feeling and maybe inspiring some private shows for that oh-so-hot guy on Valentine’s Day, you will receive 20% off any Ooh La La purchased at www.thetbar.com between now and February 10, 2009. Just enter promo code Oohlala before going to checkout!

Now, put it on to take it off, girl.

Click here and get it now!

My Morning Dilemma

A few mornings ago, as I was on my way to meet a friend for breakfast, I had a moment of awakening. I am running late almost every morning. I get up early. I get two kids off to school. I’m showered and hair is ready to go, yet I am always late. I started thinking about my morning rituals—this morning’s ritual. What could be making me so late? Candle was lit, check. Contemplated the weather, check. Made coffee, check. Kisses at the front door, bye to kiddies, check. La la la, hair and makeup, done. La la la. Check my Facebook and Twitter, done. Hmmmmm, still late, though! And then, it was time to get dressed. I knew what I was going to wear because I had checked the weather, so, check, and double check! And then it hit me!! My passion. My insane love of underthings. It was my daily lingerie selection!!! It was making me late almost every morning. It’s not the Lou Polka Dot Bra’s fault. Nor is it the fault of the spectacular Spoylt bra in Plum. Could it have been the bubble gum pink Betsey Johnson’s fault? Or the bright red Cosabella one, whose whole purpose for coming home with me was so that my Leopard print T. Santiago Undikinin’s with the red trim would now have a matching playmate. NO!! It was my fault. My love of each little bra and each little panty has me thinking and trying and deciding each and every morning. Well this just won’t do. Something must be done. I don’t know what, just yet, but you’ll know when I figure it out. For now, sorry, I gotta run. I have a breakfast meeting in the morning, and I have to go lay out my lingerie pronto.

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WIN A $25 GIFT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!

To help Debby feel like she is not alone in her obsession, we are having a contest. Send in photos of your lingerie drawer with a note saying why you’re the deserving winner of a $25 gift card to the T-Bar Boulder or http://www.thetbar.com

Send to: info@thetbar.com, title line saying “I want my Gift Card!” Hurry, we will pick a winner Monday, February 2nd…….just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Thinking about Bettie Page and how she has impacted my world (and yours too!)

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At a time when women’s opportunities were either the steno pool or marriage, Bettie Page created a powerful, entrepreneurial empire by taking charge of her sexuality while still holding fast to her own morals. She paved the way for the sexual revolution that would follow in the next decade. She said that she never felt that nudity was wrong, citing Adam and Eve and their original birthday suits. She felt nudity was normal, as was sex. Normal, natural, healthy and HUMAN. She did believe that sex went along with love and she controlled her own destiny by staying true to that ideal. She had rebuffed advances from Howard Hughes and casting directors alike. No casting couch for this take charge Marge!

Mizz Page paved the way for the next generation.

When I was a little girl, I have distinct memories of my aunt happily hopping off to work. I remember how beautiful she was, and happy and funny. She was 5′ 2″ and a bombshell. She was a go-go dancer in a giant bird cage. Yep, a bird cage. She danced at The Castaways in South Florida and loved it. She made all the costumes for herself and the other go-go dancers. She was also married.

I remember how amazing the whole idea of it was. The costumes, the music, the dancing. There is no question she influenced my love of lingerie with the costumes she sewed. Her photo is on my office wall as a reminder of the women who paved the way for me. It was also a reminder to us all to lighten up and have fun with our sexuality and take charge of our own destiny.

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We celebrate the life of the most famous pin-up girl, Bettie Page, and those who came after, like my Aunt Joanne. We are huge fans of Lucy B lingerie!!!! Bringing back the spirit of the pin-up girl, Lucy B is sexy, playful and reminiscent of a time gone by. Now through the end of December, celebrate with us and receive 20% off all Lucy B. Get those fishnets and go-go boots out, Yow!

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My latest Obsession and why I do what I do!

Parah Noir

I am in love with Parah Noir. Why? This line is seductive, refined and sensual, yet sold at a price lower than Parah Couture! Every time I view this line, my heart starts racing. It is the type of order that puts me into full on watch-the-calendar mode, awaiting the UPS driver’s visit in the Spring. It is drop-him-to-his-knees gorgeous, and frankly makes me feel the same way.

Every day I am asked how I got into this business. I love what I do. Lately, though, with the economy being less than wonderful, I have had to answer this more often. So I began to revisit the “why” for myself. I am passionate about lingerie for so many reasons and when I view a line like Parah or Carol Malony, I am reminded of some of the many whys. Recently, I opened an order that I placed six months ago. One piece was specifically for me. Two friends were in the store when it arrived and I think they may have thought I was insane while I was jumping like a child with joy at the arrival of the the tiny package. Then I opened it and one friend in particular immediately understood. It was drop-dead gorgeous and brought so much excitement. Now, I realize that in the the big picture this may seem frivolous. I can assure you, raising two children in a modern world, I think about life’s lessons constantly. The truth is, I ordered the bra as I was undergoing surgery to remove tumors from my breast. I was celebrating being a woman for myself in a way that made me feel fantastic even though I have scars now. What I realized is that balance is key to everything. So while we donate our time and resources to things we believe in, give generously of ourselves to those we love, there is room for some frivolity as well. The bra came and I celebrated the fact that I still love being playful, sexy and strong and can do so even with the scars!