Letting my Gart(er) Down



(Sara Sampaio for Victoria’s Secret)

I suppose ‘becoming a woman’ can be patented subjectively. Getting your period, losing your virginity, going out on your first date without curfew, establishing a career, summiting your first fourteener. Putting on your big girl pants is dependent the material you prefer to wear and where you’re headed.

‘Are you there god? It’s me Sierra.’ moment occurred when I clipped in my first thigh high. Just like most things, putting on a garter appears much more glamorous in the movies. There is a lot of adjusting and re-clipping that occurs. I twisted and turned my body in ways that not even a yoga instructor could choreograph. By the time everything was situated, I had sweated out the curls in my hair.

With no anti-frizz serum in sight I stood up feeling slightly defeated but excited. I put my stilettos (for full effect) and walked over to the floor length mirror.

It was in that moment where I realized the little girl had been shed and the woman had been adjusted and re-clipped in. Whether it was the way that the belt pulled in my waist or the way the straps met the opaque thigh highs, lengthening my legs. I fell in love with myself.

I could sit here and put on an ultra-feminist front and tell you that I wasn’t putting on this lingerie for a man, but then I would be lying. I’m not good at that. I was indeed putting it on for a man. A man who I cared about very much.  Because personally, that’s half the fun. And the other part of this empowering experience. Sleeping with someone is one thing, but spending money on something that the media solely displays on photoshopped models and wearing that for someone is another. It’s another step of venerability. I’m not saying that every time a woman puts on lingerie there is a novella in her head covering every ‘why or why not?’ she should wear a piece. Because quite frankly I know women who wear corsets, thigh-highs, and garter belts under their three piece suits to work on a weekly basis.

I’m talking situational. When a woman wears something for her partner, man or woman. It helps make a passionate moment become engraved. Every time she looks at that piece, she’ll associate it with that specific moment. A tangible piece of nostalgia.

That’s why lingerie matters, to me.

-Sierra aka Tiny-T



Our Own CTO (Adam) Weighs In On Why Lingerie Matters

Natalia Vodianova for Etam Lingerie
Natalia Vodianova for Etam Lingerie
SEX! YES SEX!!! Let’s get it right on the table. Lingerie is made for celebrating sexuality, accenting the lines of a woman that define her edges and curves. And while it is objectification at some level, a framed work of art so to speak, is that really always bad thing? While someone’s captivating personality may be the hook to lure you in, the body is frequently the consummation of the attraction, no way around that.

We were built for sex, yet for some reason, our culture seems to shy away from accepting it. Lingerie is still talked about in hushed whispers when it should be celebrated as a weapon against the Puritans, and part of the wonderful joy that is human sexuality. Lingerie Matters. I ask you, what is sexier than a naked woman? For many of us, a scantily clad woman, no secret there. But what is it? There’s no doubt that what she’s wearing can have a direct effect on our arousal level, and lingerie just continues that past the bedroom door. As an amateur photographer (and probably just being male), I find myself drawn to visuals that enhance my surroundings, much the same way camping is enhanced by a star filled sky. Take it to the next level in the bedroom, or whatever room of the house you prefer, like say…. the kitchen, and lingerie is a catalyst in driving our desire. It helps fuel the fantasy of who our partner is, or more specifically, who she is tonight. We need to warm up to our humanness as sexual creatures, and while we don’t need lingerie to be sexual creatures, when we’re trying to set a tone, it definitely helps.

Have you ever caught a glimpse of your partner in a strategically placed mirror (accidentally or otherwise), and marveled at how what she’s wearing drove your mind crazy? Did you stare at the thigh high lace stockings, and watched as they moved with her, the alternate view in the mirror having the effect of detaching you from your surroundings, like a voyeur in your own story? Not that this has ever happened to me, but it sounds very nice :).

Now, do I have to have it? No. Do I always want it? No. If it was on every time she (or I) took her clothes off, I would grow accustomed to it and it would lose its magic. To me, it’s the special meal you get to enjoy at irregular intervals, sometimes several nights in a row, and other times, a week or two in between when life gets in the way. But we must make time for it, our health, mental and physical, demands it.
As I move into my late 40’s, I have noticed a dramatic shift in my attitude, from the raw sexual desire in my 20’s, to this need for eroticism and ‘loaded’ interactions with my partners. The end game is no longer the primary goal, but the journey now takes on a higher importance. Lingerie makes that possible in a way regular underwear does not. I see a woman who wears lingerie as a woman who celebrates her own sexuality, and a woman who celebrates her own sexuality is going to be an excellent partner, be it casual or long-term, in the flirtatious dance over a bottle of wine and beyond. If all goes well, the sliding off of the dinner clothes to reveal a tastefully crafted ensemble, will let you know what kind of woman she is tonight. Lingerie is the rocket fuel of desire. You think about that……

So, what have we learned here? Mostly just that Adam really likes women in lingerie, but I hope that perhaps if you were someone who didn’t see the benefit and joy of sexy underthings, that maybe you will give it a second thought, and find out what makes you and your partner’s motors run.

Adam CTO aka Mr T